SADDAM IN HEAVENS
Prof Dr Colonel ( Retired) K Prabhakar Rao
In the center of a simple room Saddam Hussein is seen sitting. He is in full Iraqi military uniform with a hand gun at the belt. He has the usual stiff gait and air. A side door opens and a guard holding AK 47 rifle enters. He salutes smartly..
Guard. Sir! there is a visitor to see you
Hussein. Please get him in.
(From the door a frail and lean stooping figure enters. He has only a white loincloth with a long walking stick. He is bald with spectacles of old fashion. Saddam Hussein does not recognize him. He does not offer him seat either after seeing his personality).
Hussein. Hey old man! Who are you and what made to come here to see me?
Stranger. I am Gandhi.. Good old Gandhi
Hussein. (Scratches his head). Are you father of Rajiv Gandhi who was the Prime Minister of India and was blown up into tidbits by militants?
Gandhi Coughs) No…No… I am Gandhi the original Gandhi, the bald Gandhi and good old Gandhi. Father Gandhi, I am the original of 1947 and rest all are fake Gandhis using my name for popularity and winning elections. The Indian congress party has no life without Gandhis name.
Hussein. Please tell me why have you come? Quickly. I have many things to do.
Gandhi. I learnt that you came to the heavens after you were hanged in Iraq and want to say hello to you.
Hussein. Thanks. I now vaguely remember you. Your photo is seen on all Indian currency notes. Don’t the Indians have any other national and historical figure apart from you to print on the currency noters? Guys must be getting fed up seeing the same figure on all notes.
Gandhi. yeah, Looks other way.( He Sings ..)
Although I am half naked and bald
I am the Gandhi the real and bold
Indians long ago got rid of me with a pistol
And finally I do not have any useful hold
They show me on all currency notes
That also are offered in dirty night clubs
All corruption deals in India are done with these
I am sad that girls are also paid with them at pubs
Hussein. That is a good poem. Well-said old man. I appreciate it.
Gandhi. Yeah. I became father of India too. However India was there earlier also. But this India is a bifurcated India. So I became father of new and strange truncated India. Credit must come to me for this. Isn’t it? I learnt that you committed many serious crimes in Iraq and killed scores of Kurds by using chemical weapons. I think your sons were also part of this game.
Hussein. (Looking annoyed). Who told you?
Gandhi. Whole world knows it. O one need tell me. I thought you would be in hell. It is strange you are in heavens!
Hussein. Look Gandhi! You know. I was hanged no doubt. But I laid down my life in cause of Islam. You know! Americans waged war against the Islamic country of Iraq. It was a crusade rather. I had to defend my self. But I lost the war. America is a super power. How can I defeat them?
Gandhi. But you bragged much before the war. You said your Iraqi guards would annihilate the Americans. But these guys just vanished. Where was your air force? Where were your much-boasted tanks? It was a strange war rather.
Hussein (appearing to be in discomfort). That is over now. Every one boasts in life. But see in spite of my deeds finally I am in heavens.(sings)
Guys struggle reading scriptures
They fast and do many things to reach the God
Look at me dubbed as cruel fearsome and loathsome
Finally have reached here with Allah’s nod
Gandhi. I did not follow you
Hussein. Look Gandhi! I rather fought a Jihad against the Christians in Iraq war. Quran prescribes that those who die in the cause of the religion shall get martyrdom and reach heavens. So I also reached heavens. That was a rather easy path for me. See the guys so many in the world. Day and night struggle in prayers, reading scriptures, try to follow strict injunctions. Finally are not sure where they will go. But I am surely here in spite of evil actions on the earth.
Gandhi. ( Internally.. What a crazy guy indeed).. Ok you may have your belief. That means all terrorists fighting Jihad must reach heavens. But sorry Saddam. Those who take away their lives in suicide squads are not granted this grace. Scripture is clear on that.
Hussein. (sings )
You may have your views.
I shall have also mine
All are free to think in their way
After drinking a glass of red wine
Gandhi. (appears uncomfortable when word ‘Wine’ is heard. He is a teetotaler and averse to meat and alcohol) OK Saddam. Now stay in peace and no more chemical weapons or atom bombs… mass killings of Kurds
Hussein. Why are you telling me? Look old man! Your India preached so much non-violence. They shout at pitch of their voice as if they are the only peace loving guys and apostles of peace in entire world. But what they are doing. They made so many atom bombs and missiles and have a very large army. They fought wars with Pakistan and created Bangladesh. They interfered in Sri Lanka too. But they shout whenever Pakistan fires missiles and explodes an atom bomb. The funniest things is that they claimed the first nuclear explosion for peaceful purposes. What peaceful purpose? Have they used till date for any tunnel work in India? Where is peace? This is all crap. Look Gandhi! First tell your guys before telling me about violence and non-violence. ( With in himself.. What type of strange guys disturb me here in heavens too..)
Gandhi (Appears embarrassed and upset). (Within himself….It is better to go now and be wise. He cannot be fooled by words. This guy is very strong and has strong convictions. Cannot be bought by words like the Indian followers. My magic does not work here. Poor Indians gulped partition of greater India. It is ok. Silly Indians were carried away by me by my antics for many years till Godse shot me with a pistol).
( Outwardly smiling) OK Saddam. Best of luck, Bye.. Better luck in heavens. Be at peace (Gandhi leaves with hastened steps)