Monday, November 24, 2008

INTO THE PAST WITH PAIN

Dr K Prabhakar Rao

SCENE III


( The door opens and a sentry runs- in excited .. All look at him with great concern.)

Washington. What is the matter dear? Why are you so excited?

Sentry.. Sir.. Sir ( He is gasping )

Washington. Come on!Tell me what happened? Has Al-Qaida attacked again? Have they attacked White House? Have they bombed Capitol House. Come- on !tell me

Sentry.. ( Looking a bit composed) Nothing like that sir

Washington. Then why are you not telling?

Sentry. Sir Barack Obama has won presidential election

Washington. Yeah…Thank God. Great news indeed

Churchill.. At last the surprise is over. No more tensions. It was getting on to my nerves

Gandhi. I am very happy. Americans are great indeed. They have atlast elected a black African American.( Gets up from Chair and dances few steps)

Washington. Mr Gandhi. That is fine. Kindly take your seat. But he is not black looking. He looks an African no doubt. But he is fair like any white.

Churchill. Such things do happen. Mixing up.

Gandhi. At last America is free from the charge of discrimination. I am thrilled

Washington. True. We are happy that Americans have proved to the world that their’s is real democracy

Churchill. Mr Gandhi. You boast so much about yourselves and country. Could you produce at least one Prime Minister in India who is from the category of untouchables

Washington. What is this untouchable word. Mr Churchill! What is this? What happens if some one touches? Will he burn away or gets 440 volt shock?

Churchill. Sir, Nothing like that. They are also like every one. In India caste system is practiced as part of Hinduism. There are four castes called Brahmins ( Priestly class), Kashatriyas ( Warrior class), Vaisya ( Trading class), and Shoodra ( Servent class) and Untouchables are worst than Shoodra class.

Washington. Are they still practicing it?

Gandhi. Yeah, we are still practicing the caste system. Untouchability has been banned in India and is punishable.

Washington. What punishment? Are they hanged or deported?

Gandhi. Not that severe. First of all the offense can not be proved. So the case goes on and on.. Finally nothing comes out of the case. All are happy at the end. No worry at all in the end except lawyers make money

Churchill. That is the truth. But I heard it is still exists and I read in news papers

Gandhi. True. I also read. But mostly has gone. But caste structure has become stronger now. Government leaders have used caste card to divide the society to create vote banks. No one wants caste to go. Now untouchables that are Dalits have made a front and also are fighting among themselves. But outwardly the Indian leaders shout at pitch of voice against caste. But they prefer it. A great hypocrisy indeed. No one wants the caste to go. It is a big boo to Indian political guys.

Churchill. Your policy of reservations has done more damage in your country. Rather ruined you guys. You do not know where to go now. I am sure you would be drowned soon…you guys deserve it(claps in happiness)

Gandhi. I wish it. I tried to eradicate Untouchability. But failed. Now I became an untouchable in India. No one wants me now. Only on October 2 and 30 January they act of remembering me. The leaders go to Rajghat where I was cremated in 1948 and sing songs and do some thamasha ( Drama) of spinning yarn.. sing Ragupathi Raghava Rajaa Ram..They put on white clothes as if very pure and sit down on white cloth spread on the lawn. Once the function is over they run after the chairs. They then vanish only to indulge in acts of mischief, corruption and nepotism… Silly guys indeed.

Washington. I read in news papers that some time ago some vandals damaged your tomb at Rajghat

Gandhi. Yeah. They did. I wish they completely destroyed it.

Wsahington. How atrocious?

Gandhi. Sir . But you can not claim credit for eradication of slavery in USA. Black African Americans were slaves in America for long. It was to the credit of great Lincoln that it has gone. Martin Luther king was another person who should get credit. But poor guy was shot and killed.

Washington ( A bit upset) I am not taking credit… Yeah.. True.. Rather true. Some times it happens. Why were you killed Mr Gandhi? For same reason he too.

Churchill. You claim as the second largest democracy in world. Why could you not make Jagjivan Ram, your Dalit leader as Prime Minister?


Washington. Who is this Jagjivan Ram.? What is Dalit? How he has come in-between?

Churchill. Sir. Dalit is the latest word for the untouchables in India. Gandhi coined a name Harijan ( Gods man). It was in vogue for long. Now they want to be called Dalits means oppressed and exploited. They do not call them untouchables now openly.

Washington. That means trouble is still there.

( In the mean time Jagjivan Ram enters the room. He is walking with a stick at snails pace and puts on cap.)

Jagjivan Ram.. Good morning Gentlemen. I am Ram.. Jagjivan Ram. You guys remembered my name. So I have to be here.

Washington. Sir, What is so great about you.

Ram. There is nothing great about me. I also never said there is some thing great about me. I was the Defense minister of India during Indo Pak war of 1965 in which Pakistani American Patton tanks were shot like ducks and we collected hundreds of Patton tanks mostly shot and called the place Patton nagar.. I was the undisputed leader of all Harijans (Untouchables class and downtrodden). I was to become the PM of India. But I was set aside by all means. I have to blame Sanjeeva Reddy the President for this ( Cries.. oooh…oooh..eeee… I was not made PM..eeee…..eeee ).

Washington. ( Uncomfortably ) Why remember Patton Tanks? It was the failure of Pakistanis. They did not know how to use them. Pakistanis brought shame to American tanks.

( In the mean time Jagjivan Ram continues to cry and sings)

Ham jeeke kya… aa.. karenge.. Jab dil hee toota gaya… aaaa….aaa…aaa

Washington. Mr Churchill what does he say?

Churchill.Sir! He is singing the famous Hindi song of late KL Saigal. It means what is the use of living when my heart is broken

Washington. Who is this KL Sehgal.. Sounds like seagull

Gandhi. Sir KL Saigal was the greatest actor singer of Hindi films of 20 th century. He passed away at the age of 42 years. He is immortalized by his songs

Washington. That is great of him. I wish I see him some time.

Churchill. Do not cry Mr Ram. Be brave. Whatever it is.You were the stron defense minister. It is your internal politics too. The fact is that, sir you lost the boat because you were a Harijan leader

Ram. True.

Washington. How sad?

Ram. I am happy that Obama has won.

Washington. We too.

Churchil. Americans have lot of hopes on Obama. Can he end Iraq war?

Washinton. We have to wait and see. He can not all of a sudden bring back troops. Saying is ok before as a candidate. Now after assuming office many things have to be seen.

Churchill. If he withdraws suddenly, there could be great vacuum in Iraq and thugs can rise rapidly damaging our interests

Gandhi. I feel some how all American troops must be recalled within one week after he assumes office. Whatever happens to Iraq we are not bothered. Let Iraqis go to hell. God can take care of them. If it does not happen Americans should protest peacefully without violence

Washington. But we are bothered Gandhi. That means non violence in US too

Gandhi Yeah. Very true. They may go on fasting also

Washington. Fasting with Americans? Are you crazy? Are you talking out of your hat? You know! Our guys can not stay one second without food from Macdonald, Beef patties and drink…. They keep eating all the time like Komodo dragons…They may do fasting for few hours after filling themselves…. Drinking Coke

Gandhi. They have to change ( Sings)

Fasting means they must really fast
If required they must fast till the last
This is also one way of loosing weight
And many Guys in this land are like railway crates

Washington.( Laughs ) Hoo… Haa… Hii. Heee.. Haaa . Mr Gandhi that was really good
But look at me. I am trim and smart, not like Mr Churchill.

Churchill.( Looks embarrassed and pulls up his pant) Hii….Hiii.Heee

Gandhi. Sir, what is this Komodo dragon?

Washington. Mr Gandhi. Komodo dragon lives in Komodo Island and surrounding islands in Indonesia. They are very large monitor lizards and reach to a length of 10 to 12 feet. Some call them as land crocodiles. They are the largest Lizards in the world. They are voracious hunters and meat eaters. Two Komodo dragons can eat away a full buffalo in an hour . They are highly dangerous and people mistake them as dragons as they have large forked red tongues which are pushed and pulled from the mouth and appears like flame from a distance.

Gandhi .Oh God! How dangerous! That means they are far more dangerous than Englishmen. I wish I take all of them and set them free in India near parliament House and all state capitals. The guys in India have become so corrupt now, I am getting worked up. ( Gandhi gets up from his chair and raises his fist shakes it violently and sings). I want these corrupt guys eaten by Komodos on Delhi streets. (Does vicious break dance.. singing)

The guys in India have become corrupt and rotten
Such guys are required to be thoroughly beaten
Leave all komodo in India and set them free
And watch the fun from top of a tree

The Komodos would strip them bare
Pull out their entrails that is no doubt fair
Their muscles and bones would be chewed to pulp
And komodos are happy to eat them and gulp

Komodos in India should be bred in millions
Even if it costs to the country in billions
The crooked guys in India should be thrown to these beasts
And they would be happy at the tasty feast

Komodo should be India’s national beast
Every month we should give them good feast
In all nooks and corners they must be bred
And with blood of its victims their mouths should get red

Washington. Come on Mr Gandhi! You were just now preaching non violence to us. What is this? You preach such cruelty! Strange really! What happened to you?

Gandhi.. ( Shakes his head violently)So sorry sir. Kindly pardon me. I was a bit upset with corrupt Indian leaders.

Churchill. Come on Mr Gandhi. This is a bit too much. . You better stay as you like in India with Komodos and Gotzillahs if you find any. Make it your national animal. Sorry it is not animal. It is a reptile class. Better leave us to out fate and we would be happy. As it is, we have many problems ( Sings)

We in West want to live in our way
This is the truth come what may
You guys in the East are mad and crazy
In work too you are found to be dull and lazy

( Churchill laughs.. Heee….heeee…..Haaa…..Haa…. huu..huu and puffs clouds of smoke from the cigar engulfing every one, while Gandhi coughs vigorously)

Gandhi. Gentlemen cigarette smoking is dangerous to health.( coughs…) ( Sings)

Mr Curchill ! smoking is just bad
That makes me very sad
Your lungs are sure to dry
Killing you like a fish under the sky


Churchill. That is OK Mr Gandhi. Take care of your health first

Do not bother for me
Take care of your worn out knee
I am strong and stout
While you are already dead and out

Washington..( Laughs) Haa.. Haa. Heee. Hee… Bye Mr Gandhi. Take care of yourself and your non violence

(Gandhi gets up from seat , picks up his stick and walks off slowly coughing loudly )
Dr K Prabhakar Rao


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