INTO THE PAST WITH PAIN...185

INTO THE PAST WITH PAIN…185

Dr K Prabhakar Rao

(Gandhi and Nehru are sitting in a park on a bench in Hyderabad and Patel walks in with a book. )

Gandhi. Patel. You are having a book in your hand. What is that book? You know I am very fond of books.

Patel. Bapu. This is one of the books that I brought from the library of an Institution.

Gandhi. Which is that Institution?

Patel. We visited that Institution last week. Have you forgotten Bapu?

Gandhi (Scratches his head vigorously). Which one? My memory is fading.

Patel. It is IIMS AR.

Gandhi. What for it stands for?

Patel. It is called Indian Institute of mischief studies and applied research .

Gandhi. Yeah. Now I remember that we went there. If I am correct we saw a statue of Dawood Ibrahim and large size portraits of Hajji Masthan and Dawood Ibrahim and halls are also named after them and ex minister Raja.

Patel. Now you are correctly oriented.

Gandhi. What is that book?

Patel. It is titled “How to spoil things authored by Ruoy and Raddy. If you permit I shall read some portions from one of the chapters.

Gandhi. Most welcome. Go ahead please.

Patel reads from the book in style:-

How to spoil things is the books theme
Its contents give feeling of eating Ice cream
The tricks of spoiling are plenty and have no limit
Learn these without any doubt and everything is fine and fit

Gandhi. Theme is great.

Patel. More things will come Bapu. Listen:-

All books old and new can be easily be burnt in fire
You can show your complete revenge and ire
All type pencils can be easily broken with hand
And rub the pilot tipped pens in a heap of sand

All type of utensils be clubbed with a bar
While water filters can be dropped on ground devoid of tar
Refrigerators be ruined by breaking the condenser at rear
And all pipes be cut with a saw that is very fair.

All ovens be dipped in water and then switch on
I am sure they burn away my dear son
Gas lighters be broken to pulp under a hammer blow
And all is inner parts would be seen to flow.

Tape record cassettes be ripped open
Pulling away the tape ribbon with a tip of pen
Spools of the tape recorder can be spoiled in a similar way
This makes all cockeyed songs to be kept permanently away

Nehru. Is the book full of such poems

Patel. Yeah. The book title is “How to spoil things”. What we can expect?

Gandhi . True. We must appreciate the creativity and the ingenuity of the author

Nehru. ( Takes a stone and hits his own head shouting Kill me.. kill me)

Gandhi. ( Pulls away the stone) Come on Jawaharlal, What happened to you? Why get upset?

Nehru. What I should do? Is this a book to be read?

Patel. What is wrong in it?

Nehru. The book must teach some good things to people.

Gandhi. I agree. Unless we know how things can be spoiled, how designers will improve the things?

Nehru. OK Bapu. I agree. Take case of a pencil. It has to write on paper. It has to be held in hand between fingers. It can not be heavy and it has to be very light.. Just because it can be broken easily should we make it out of steel? If it is made of metal it become heavy. It has to be in the way as now it is and accept that it can be easily broken.

Gandhi. Good argument by Jawaharlal.

Patel. This may be an odd example Bapu. Pencils are also made of metal tubes with lead inside that can be made to project out when required

Gandhi. Yes I used such things.

Patel. Bapu. Do you want to hear more from this book.

Gandhi. We shall hear some other time..

Nehru. God saved me.

Gandhi. Patel, What are the news?

Patel. Bapu. The locals are celebrating Sankranthi (Pongal festival today)

(In the mean time a person arrives dressed in a village folk style and brings along with a colorfully decorated bull. He has a Sannai (Musical instrument) pipe with him. He plays sannai in front of the trio. The bull tries to dance)

Gandhi. Look Patel, The bull is so weak. It appears as if it has not eaten since long.

Patel. It looks like that.( Looks at the villager) Hey. Have you not fed your bull?

Villager. Sahib. From where I can feed it. For the last few years agriculture has failed in AP state. Cyclones affected us . We lost farms and agriculture.

Patel. I think govt gives you some thing as relief.

Villager. Where is relief? By the time we get some thing, it is almost eaten away by middle men like sarpanches, District officials, Mandal guys, village officers.

Patel. I feel bad really

Villager. Sir. Your feeling bad does not fill our stomachs.

Patel. True Bhai. But we are also helpless. These days leaders have become thick skinned like komodo dragons and they are after looting the nation right from the village level. Politics has become a shit pot.

Villager. What is this komodo dragon ?

Patel. It is a very large monitor Lizard and lives in Indonesian island Komodo and surrounding islands. It is very dangerous Lizard and even eats human beings. It is sucha great meat eater that it eats meat equal to 80 percent of its body weight. Two dragons can eat away a buffalo in a matter of 40 minutes and leave only bones. Our leaders are like these dragons. Their appetite for money is so great that they loot almost 80 percent of funds .

Villager. Then what we can get from relief and developments.

Gandhi. Patel . are things so bad?

Patel Very true Bapu. What happened ins spectrum scam? Is Rs 176000 crores a small amount?

Gandhi. Certainly not.

Villager. In this state how can we feed our animals? You must be happy that we have not eaten away our animals.

Gandhi. I am happy. But look at that animal. It is a mere skeleton. You want it to dance to your music. Will it do? It has no stamina. It has no strength.

Villager. What can I do? I thought I can earn few coppers

Patel. Look Bhai. Plesae do not trouble that animal. Kindly take this Rs 100 note and go.

Villager. Thank you sir. You are so generous. I shall purchase some grass for this bull and some rice for us to day.

Gandhi. OK Bhai. Plesae go and be happy.

( Villager goes away with the bull)

Gandhi. Look Patel. I am much upset with this nation, its governing and the nuts who are ruling it. Others are also no good. ( sings and does jig))

This nation is being ruled by mere nuts
Who have mismanaged this nation
I do not know which way the country is going?
And poor guys are denied simple ration

These leaders are managing Swiss accounts
But the nation is unable to explore truth and close eyes
The cheats are swindling the country day and night
While their eyes are colored with a thick dye

Patel. Hera .. Hera.. well sung Bapu. What you said is very true.

Nehru. Bapu is only seeing negative aspects of Indians development

Patel. How can you talk like this? What use is the development w hen nation can not ensure food for every one. Do you know the cost of onions to day? It is more than Rs 50 per KG. What is the cost of onions to day? It is Rs 60 per kg. Can poor people survive?

Nehru. How leaders are responsible for onions and vegetables?

Patel. Who are ruling the nation? Are they not political leaders and swindlers?

Nehru. They are leaders no doubt. But can you blame them only? I think USA is responsible for all this.

Patel. That is shit talk. How USA would be responsible? Have you forgotten help of Kennedy to this nation when you bungled Chinese war? He held our hand while the guys from USSR looked on. But for the threat by Kennedy Chinese would have sat in Delhi through Tezpur. Indian army was very well hammered and although they fought bravely at some places, it was an utter shameful defeat. Till date wounds have not healed. We are scared of the Chinese army lurking on our borders. It is entirely Indians doing. These nuts have no priorities. For their failures they always blame USA or western world. In what way others are interested in us? It is over grown country with no control on population, with no self discipline and control. Most of today’s politicians are bred in the streets playing street politics. They are called Galli leaders. Each character is pulling in his own direction and there is no national awareness at all. Then what will happen? The democracy of adult franchise and multi party system has screwed up everything in this country.

Gandhi. Yeah. Very truly said. You know former President Abdul kalam suggested two party system as a method to overcome today’s ills. He was eased out by these Congress guys. Congress party will be happy with multi party system as votes can be easily divided. The policy is divide n and rule. The foolish Indians are clueless and vote like a bunch of asses. In the end Congress makes to the chair as no other party gains majority over congress. Then they can not combine. Every joker wants to become the PM of this country as if there is nothing in this world than becoming a PM of this foolish nation.

Patel. Bapu. The clever Europeans wisely left us to get screwed once they knew that it was not worth holding on to us. They are all smiling to glory and laughing viciously behind us. Churchill must be the first guy to laugh at us.

( Suddenly W Churchill appears in his usual attire of black suit and cigar with a hat)

Gandhi. welcome Mr Churchill. You are in time.

Churchill. Thanks. How is your country running? I think your leaders have thoroughly bungled things as I predicted.

Patel. They have not left anything. Bungling is almost complete. They screwed up every department and Institution.

Churchill. I knew it.

Gandhi. Are you happy now?

Churchill. Why should I be happy?

Gandhi. You were the guy opposing independence to us.

Churchill. Yes I did. It was correct. You guys were not fit for self rule. You were selfish people and opportunists. I was well aware of it. Hence I opposed. I was much concerned about poor Indians. I knew that you guys would screw them up.

Patel. Dear Mr Winston sir. You were a wise man. You opposed it. We were concerned about our freedom. Some how We guys wanted to gain power. Some of our guys wanted to become Prime minister, Defense minister, Education minister, External affairs minister, Foreign Minister. So on and so forth. The moment you guys left there was a great chaos during partition and we lost millions. Pak also lost many. It was torn subcontinent. The fissures have developed deep. They can never be cemented. It will be only a patch work.

Churchill. I knew that you guys were not capable to adjust with each other. It was your luck that Mr Atlee took over as PM of England. If I was there you would have never got freedom.

Patel. Probably many think that it was better.

Churchill. Forget all those past things. Nothing can be done now. No one is ready to govern your country even if you guys give free. All the guys feel that you guys should be left to suffer, fight internally and perish. Subhas Chandra Bose the most capable Indian leader also vanished to your luck. Or else he would have straightened your nation and your leaders.

Patel. Do you think Subhas would have made difference.

Churchill . Very true. He knew what is needed for your country. Was it Ramdhun or a stick? He knew stick was more appropriate to you guys as the nation lacks discipline. Probably during freedom struggle Gandhi could gather them and influence. But once we went away it was free for all. No one was accountable. Every one thought Freedom meant free for all. Slowly it degenerated as free looting by all. What is happening now is mere loot mar and free for all and thorough looting in all sectors. If you look at your people on the roads it reflects your country very well. The way they drive, the way they overtake. The way they park vehicles speaks very much of the nation. When rice is cooked it is not necessary to test all grains. It is enough to test few grains of rice. Your country is also like that. It is chaos absolutely.

Gandhi. Mr. Winston. You have very strong views about us

Churchill. True. Mr. Gandhi. Please do not feel bad. I tell fact. Try to swallow things and gulp. (Sings and does jig)

You guys are big nuts of no use
In fact they have to be left to disuse
Some how you got freedom
All but think it is their kingdom

The nuts who rule are selfish guys
They are clueless and have no truthful ways
The guys cheat their souls
And in the night devour country fowls

Patel. Hee… Hee.. Well sung sir

Churchill. Thanks Mr. Patel. Iam grateful to you.

Patel. Never mind sir. Iam honored.

Churchill. I came to know that in fact you were to become the PM in 1947. But Mr Nehru was pushed into the chair.

Patel. He has blessings of Bapu.

Churchill. That means you did not have

Patel. He was the blue eyed boy of Bapu. He was made the PM. Rest is history.

Churchill. Mr. Gandhi. It was a great blunder on your part to do that. Every one now knows that it was a mistake of the last century

Gandhi. But Patel became deputy PM

Churchill. Look Mr. Gandhi. A deputy always becomes a deputy. Mr. Nehru bungled many things. Every one knows it.

Nehru. Al I required here?

Churchill. Why you want to run away? Face realities too.

Nehru. I feel insulted.

Churchill. There is no insult in this. Did you not bungle Kashmir issue in 1948?

Nehru. It was spot decision suitable at that time.

Churchill. It was a cockeyed decision. Look your nation has been screwed up by Pakistan ever since 1948 over Kashmir.

Nehru. I thought world body would solve the problem.

Churchill. This world body did not solve any problem

Patel. Hee..hee

Nehru. Why do you laugh?

Patel. Mr. Winston sir. Please ask about 1962 war with Chinese. How he bungled it?

Churchill. It was great defeat indeed. Chinese know that you can not stand against them. Recently your Naval Chief also declared that you are no match to them.

Gandhi. I also heard it. He gave out truth.

Patel. When China attacked India Jawaharlal declared in Parliament,””I told Indian army to throw out Chinese”… heee..hhee We were thrown out in fact. What a shame?

Nehru. Is there any thing more against me.?

Patel. There are ample things. Why dig graves now?

Nehru. You have already dug up my grave as Jats have dug up Akbar’s tomb at Siknadra.

Patel. These things happen. We are only trying to prove how bas was Bapus decision in making you the first PM

Gandhi. But nothing can be done now.. The screwing we have done now can not be unscrewed.

Patel. Hee..hee hhaa

Churchill. Haa..haaa..haaa..haaa

Nehru. Now you guys must be very happy about lot of mudslinging


Patel. Look Jawaharlal. This is not mud slinging. This is true analysis of past mistakes that screwed up this nation.

Churchill. True. Very correctly said Mr. Patel. I am proud of you. You are very frank and outspoken.

Gandhi. Mr Churchill, I know that great mistake was committed by me in pushing Patel to back seat. I had my own compulsions. Now it is all over. It is all destiny. India had to suffer. So these things happened. But look. India has made great progress in agriculture and industrial production. Technology, fertilizers etc. Life expectancy has improved

Churchill. But your leaders have become greatest scamsters in world. Recent spectrum has proved it beyond doubt.

Gandhi. What can I say about it? Such nuts get elected to the parliament and state assemblies.

Churchill. Your democracy is based on false findings. In fact you are not mature for democratic functioning. Look. Your rulers are scared of ordering JPC to investigate spectrum scam. If none of them are involved why the rulers are scared of it?

Patel. Haa..haaa. True . Very well said sir. I am very happy about it. But every leader of this ruling party is trying ways and means to belittle CAG findings. Kapil Sibbal has also joined the game now.

Churchill. That is the fun part. All world leaders are laughing at you guys.

Gandhi. What to do? This is our fate.

Churchill. Look Mr Gandhi. No one can help you. You guys have screwed up every institution in your country. Some say that Defense forces are left out from this.

Patel. I wish so.

Churchill. But lot of fingers are being pointed that all is not well there.

Gandhi. ( Cries) eee..eeee…aaa…aaa.. I wish I did not bring freedom.

Churchill Mr Gandhi. please do not be under any illusion. You did not bring freedom. You guys were just given by us and left to your fate to suffer.

Patel. Whatever it is we are suffering. I remember one thing. In the Red fort palace it has been inscribed, “ If it is a heavens on this , It is here”. Now I must say If there is a hell on this earth it is very much here.

Churchill. Hee..heee OK Guys . Thanks see you agin. Bye

Patel. Bye.

Gandhi. Thanks for the visit.

( Churchill disappears while the trio walk away)

CURTAIN FALLS

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