INTO THE PAST WITH PAIN....XXVIII

INTO THE PAST WITH PAIN..XXVIII

Prof Dr Colonel K Prabhakar Rao (Retired)

(It is Waugha border post on India Pakistan border and the road runs through the border and on each side, the border posts are present with ceremonial guards and flags flying. Lot of ceremonial drill goes at these posts. On Indian side, suddenly MK Gandhi, Patel and Nehru appear and the Indian guards stop them.)

Guard. Stop sir. Who are you? Why have you come so close to us. Watch from a distance.

MK Gandhi. Hello Mr. Guard. I am Bapu. Your father of nation. These are my friends

Guard. I know none

Gandhi. I am very sorry for your ignorance. We have come here to conduct Dharna against Pakistan for abetting terrorist attacks on India.

(Gandhi, Nehru and Patel shout..” Down with Pakistan, down with terrorism, Pakistan murdabad)

Guard (gets upset) No.. No. You guys do not shout like that. We maintain cordial relations here

Gandhi. Please do the same.

(In the mean time some more Guards arrive and they physically try to drag out Bapu, Nehru and Patel. They are unable to pull Patel not even a millimeter. They are surprised)

Guard. How come this guy is so heavy? He does not move a bit

Gandhi. He is the iron man of India. He is made of solid iron.

( A Pakistani ranger from their post approaches Indian post and signals to the Guard)

Ranger. Look. Bhai. Please tell those three men to keep quiet. They are shouting anti Pakistani slogans. That is just not on. Otherwise we have to act.

Guard. Please sir. I shall control them. Kindly do not do any thing now

( Guard approaches the trio and begs them to go and Gandhi refuses)

Gandhi. Look. We have come to express our displeasure to Pakistan.

Guard. In that case we have to arrest you

Nehru. Please do. We are not scared. We were arrested many times earlier

Guard. Come on other guards. Catch hold of these guys and put them in a cell. We shall sort them out later

Ranger. Haa….haaaa. That is really good

(The guards approach and fall on the trio and Gandhi gestures like Mandrake the magician and all the guards fall one over the other and the Pak ranger is buried under them. Gandhi laughs.)

Gandhi. Heee….heee…….haa…haa

(Gandhi, Nehru and Patel cross the border and shout ... Down with Pakistan. Down with Zardari.. Down with Kayani.. In the mean time other rangers run towards Gandhi with their rifles and open fire indiscriminately. Patel catches all bullets and being iron man all the bullets are smashed. Rangers fall on them and when the fall on Patel their limbs are broken as he is made of steel. They shout.. Hoi Allah.. Mar Gaya.. Bacho… Bachao..)

Nehru… Haa…haa. Haa. You silly guys.. You are good only to put on long turbans and do some drill. Nothing more

(Gandhi, Patel and Nehru run into Pak territory and disappear while the fallen rangers get up limping and speak on wireless sets)

(Gandhi, Nehru and Patel land up in Rawalpindi and are found roaming on the streets. They are spotted by Pak police. Two constables rafiq and Razak along with Sub Inspector Gilani go to them )

Gilani. Hello Bhai. Who are yop. You look Indians. What are you doing here. D you have pass ports and show me valid visas

Gandhi. True We are Indians. You can make out. What is the visa. Our Pass ports became invalid long ago.

Gilani. How. Then How you have come

Nehru. We died long ago. So one renewed our documents

Gilano. If you are dead how are you talking?

Patel. You can not understand that. Look ! This old man is MK Gandhi. Father of nation India. The other one with cap is Nehru the first PM of India. I am Sardar Patel the iron man of India and Ist Dy PM of India.

Gilani. I know none

Gandhi. Bad luck

Gilani. You are under arrest for being here without valid documents. How did you enter Pakistan

Patel. Through Wagah border

Gilani. Come on constables. Arrest them and hand cuff them.

( The constables fall on the trio and Patel falls on them. All the police men are crushed under weight of Patel and they vomit blood. Gilani tries to punch Patel with his fist. His fist is smashed and all fingers are broken into pulp. Gilani faints in pain)

(Gandhi and his friends now walk towards Presidential palace. On the way they find some Talibans with long beards and loose pyjamas and long shirt and turbans. They hold rifles. One of them has a steel tape hanging at his waist. Taliban stop them)

Gandhi. Hello Bhai. Who are you?

Taliban. We are Taliban

Gandhi. Are you Afghan Taliban who ran away from Tora Bora?

Taliban. No. We are Pak Taliban. Local Taliban

Gandhi. Why are you here. You may be arrested by Pak police

Taliban. Just not on. How dare they are. We roam freely throughout Pakistan. Pak has no control over Swat valley in Waziristan. Now we local Taliban are spreading through out Pakistan

Patel. What will you do?

Taliban. We shall not allow women to study. They can only produce kids. All Pakistans have to marry off their girls to Taliban only. All men have to grow beards. We shall measure them with this tape. Otherwise we shall whip them publicly.

Gandhi. Look ! Some men can not grow beards. What they have to do.

Taliban. They should seek sex change or become she males by taking hormone injections.

Patel ( Laughs).. Haa…haa.. Good idea


Taliban. You guys appear to be Indians. Why are you here?

Nehru. We are tourists from India

Taliban. What is there to see here?

Patel. True. But you are there. That is the latest attraction. We all in India here that Pakistan is falling to you. Even Zardarai says that Taliban soon would take over Pakistan

Taliban. True. Recently Pakistan has handed over Swat valley completely to Taliban That is Paki Taliban. Now we are literally independent. Taliban has now spraed every where. Soon the country would fall to us.

Gandhi. But army is there. How can you fight such large force on plains. Swat valley is different

Taliban. Army is no different from us. N fact every guy in army is a Taliban. Soon they will turn into our way. No more western dress and that type of ceremonies. They will change to army of Prophet Mohammed( PBUH). Shouts.. Yaa…. Allah ho Akbar. Instead of horses we shall now ride tanks and conquer world and impose Shariat law. We shall close schools for girls.

Nehru ( taken back) That means we will be in danger of Talibanization.

Taliban. Yeah.. We shall not spare India. We shall first attack India and conquer it as done by Mohammed Ghori and Ghaznavi in the past.

( Gandhi and his friends get scared and want to avoid the Taliban)

Gandhi. OK Bhai. We shall go ahead and see things.

Taliban. How can you go? You have to take Islam having come to our land. Now you are stuck. Of course we shall give you few months time to grow beard. Do not worry for that. Look Islam is the only way of life. Listen to me.

Patel. This is pure nonsense. You can not force us to take Islam.

Taliban. Look. This is the law. No one other than a Muslim is allowed to breath on this land. (He points the rifle at Gandhi and friends and calls other Taliban)
Look. Catch hold of these characters and whip them till they accept Islam. Under threat of death make them accept Islam. Finally if they do not listen cut their throats.

( Gandhi gives a sharp look at the Taliban)

Gandhi. You guys appear to be lunatics. What George Bush was doing was correct! Long live Bush. You appear to be mad persons. If you have guts look into my eyes

( All Taliban stare into Gandhi’s eyes and suddenly Gandhi gestures like Mandrake the magician and twists his palm and all the Talibans whirl around and fall in a heap)

Gandhi. Come on! Take their guns. Fire on these jokers

( Nehru, and Patel open fire with the rifles AK 47 of the fallen Taliban and Taliban get killed

Gandhi. Run now. Let us escape from here

( Gandhi and the other two vanish from Rawalpindi and cross wagah border in darkness and return to India)

Dr K Prabhakar Rao