Wednesday, March 25, 2009




Prof Dr Colonel K Prabhakar Rao ( Retired)

(It is a large gathering on a roadside in India in the state of Andhra Pradesh. A leader is standing on a vehicle and addressing the gathering. There is lot of commotion all around)

Leader (Holding mike). Listen. Listen. I am the hero speaking to you. Look I am from the family of the bye gone super hero. I inherited all his histrionics. I also look like him. I deserve attention. Please vote for us. This is the only way of showing appreciation to us and him. Give us chance again. We have been out of power for the last five years. It is frustration too. We can not stay out of power. You know we are like tigers. We want to be masters. A tiger that tastes human meat can not keep quiet for long. It seeks victim again and again. We tasted power once and ruled for long. We want to return to power in these elections. So vote for us. ( He does break dance on the vehicle)

Look I am the hero
While all others are only zero
I am at the top like Master Zoro
I cannot however sing like Emperor Nero

( The gathering claps loudly in appreciation)

Leader. Listen . Please vote for us. We shall give many things free. Rice will be given at Rs 2/Kg. Some guy has promised cooking gas for Rs 100 per cylinder. I shall give at Rs 50 per cylinder and with that a lighter also will be free. Once in six months gas pipe will be free. Once in two years we shall give free gas stove in exchange of old one. But we shall charge Rs 50 for it. In every house for poor we shall build toilet and give water free. Some time you may not get water. So we shall give ten Toilet paper Rolls free. Till Engineering we shall give free education to poor children. What we require is a MRO income certificate for below Rs one Lakh income. That any how one can get. You know how to get it. Even if the student does not pass intermediate he shall get B Tech I year seat. He has to pass inter by the time he enters second year. In exceptional case this may be relaxed. There will not be any EAMCET examination for poor. The only condition is that they should be able to write their name correctly at least in Telugu.

Member from Crowd (Laughs) Haa…haaa..Haaa

Leader. Shut up. What makes you laugh?

Member. What else I can do? Engineering education has become a joke now in the state. The students as it is most of them can not understand English and they want lecturers to reach in Telugu. They do not attend classes. Attendance regulations are violated. These graduates most of them are of no use to society. The university may boast of hundreds of colleges while many are bogus Institutions…They have no staff even…Forget about Principal..Haaa…haaaa. Here I laugh…. Haa…haaa..heee…heee.. hooo….hoooo..

Leader ( Gets embarrassed) That is OK..OK.. Please relax. In every system, some lacuna will be there. We shall improve if we come to power. We shall close the institutions that are bad. Ohf, I side tracked from my speech. Yeah . we were talking of various concessions to poor. All poor women will get one dozen sarees free every year. All gents will get three Safari suits free along with two pairs of shoes and socks every year. Gents will get Shaving razors free every two months along with sufficient blade cassettes. All poor families will have bank account and government shall transfer every month Rs10000 in to these account. This is not loan. Just help. Please vote for us.

( Gathering men claps)

( In the mean time Gandhi, Nehru and Patel walk in slowly and settle down on a bench close by)

Leader ( Looking at Gandhi) Look at this old man. Even after 60 years of independence he is unable to afford proper cloths and is half naked. Is this the rule the present government is giving that has been ruling at center for so long? Shame. Shame

( gathering claps)

( Leader comes down from the dais and removes his shirt and gives to Gandhi and ask him to wear.)

Gandhi. Thanks. But no. I am not in the need of the shirt. I have many at home. I wear this dress as a principle and commitment.

Leader. What principle?

Gandhi. Look. Most of the Indians are poor and can not afford proper clothes. So I dress up like this.I went to King of England even like this. I earned a title of Half naked Fakir. Laughs…haa…haa…haa.

Leader.. How funny you are! By the by who are you sir?

Gandhi. I am MK Gandhi. Mahatma Gandhi. I am called so while many do not think I am a mahatma. I am also called Bapu. Some call me Karma Yogi. My full name is Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi. Did you not recognize me? ( Sings)

I am the Gandhi the mighty Bapu
Father of Indian nation
There are crores of poor here
Who to eat have no ration

Leader. Some how I am unable to recollect you. Probably I read about you in some primary reader during my school days. You may be imposter and nut. Gandhi died long ago shot by Godse.

Gandhi. So bad. You do not know your father of nation. ( Beats his chest and cries) Mera Bharat…Mera Bharat..eeee….eeee..

Nehru. Bapu. Please do not cry ( He gives his hanky to wipe his tears). Look speaker! Haven’t you seen his statues all around?

Leader. True. There used to be earlier if I remember correctly. Now they are very few. We find most of them to be Ambedkar statues with a lifted finger and in suit and with a book. Wherever I see Gandhi statues they are in pathetic condition. They have broken legs standing on iron rods, some with heads standing on iron rods, some have no ears. At some places sticks are missing and in the hands rum bottles are inserted. At many places strings with flags are attached to the neck.

Patel. (Laughs)…..haa..haaaa

Nehru. Patel. What is there to laugh? We should feel sorry.

Patel. He described the statues. So I could not control myself.

Leader. OK… Please listen guys… Very soon I shall ensure erection of atomic power plant in the state one for every district. I shall strive for reservation in army at all levels.

Gandhi. Look friend . You are promising left right and center. How can you give these? Will you sell away the state to World Bank?

Leader. We have our own ways. That we will decide after winning. That is secret.

Gandhi (looking at the crowd) Look friends. Do not believe all these empty promises. They are turning people into lazy lot. Do You want to earn food by hard work or become beggars? These guys after winning elections will never come to you. Believe me. You will be cheated to the hilt.

Leader (Getting upset) come on, old man shut up. Are you from CIA. Who has sent you to spoil my meeting? (Looking at his followers and bouncers) Take care of these guys. I think opposition party has sent them.

(The bouncers fall on Gandhi and his friends. One guy takes away stick from Gandhi and Gandhi drags it back and gets annoyed.)

Gandhi. Look . You can not do that to me. What you have thought of me? ( sings).

I am the mighty man
Known as the great superman
My name is Karamchand Gandhi Mohandas
I shall make you soon a stupid ass

( Gandhi holds the stick and swings it in the air wildly in a circle and it makes whining sound. The bouncers are taken back and they are unable to come close. One guy tried to close in and he gets a hard blow on the head and he collapses. Gandhi in great tempo swings wildly unaware of everything around. The leader calls off the meeting and quickly vanishes from there. A group of police men land up there in a vehicle after receiving a call from the leader)

Inspector. Hey.. Who are you? Stop this swinging of stick. Or I shall shoot you.

Nehru. Look Inspector. He is out of your reach. He can not hear you.

Inspector. Who are you?

Nehru. Don’t you know me?( sings

I am the great Jawaharlal
Once up on a time I was the PM of this nation
You were not even born at that time
Now you forgot all things in the inflation

Inspector. Stop singing. Tell me who you are?

Nehru. I gave a hint. Find out.

Inspector. Behave yourself. Do not act funny with me. I am from police. I can shoot you too and make an encounter story.

Patel. And win ashok Chakra too. Heee..heee….Come on. Do not threaten us. You can not do any thing to us.

Inspector. I shall show you. You guys appear to be anti social. I shall count ten and if you do not disperse I shall shoot you.

( Inspector starts counting and Nehru and Patel keep laughing while Gandhi continues to swig his stick.. Ten numbers are over and Inspector fires four rounds into Patel)

Patel ( Laughs ) hee…heee..hee. ( The bullets strike Patel and get deflected as Patel is a steel man of India. One of the bullet deflects and strikes the Inspector in the thigh. He collapses bleeding)

Patel.( Laughs) hooo…hooo…hooo. I told you to behave in the beginning

( In the mean time, many constables pounce on the trio and Gandhi stops swinging his stick. Nehru looks at the police men and twists his hand like Mandrake the magician and all the police men are thrown hundred feet away and fall in heap. They shout oh… margaya…. Bacho.. Bacho… eee…eeee…aaaa…aaa..eeee.. oo..oo

( Gandhi and his friends laugh and walk away)

Dr K Prabhakar Rao

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