Tuesday, May 26, 2009


Prof Dr Colonel K Prabhakar Rao ( Retired)

(Patel, Nehru and Bapu are strolling on Tank bund in Hyderabad. The sun has set and night is setting too .The city of Hyderabad is about to dazzle with glittering lights. The trio are standing at the railings on the Tank bund and staring at the distant Buddha statue standing erect in the midst of dirty water that abound in the lake. The smell is stinking. But they have no go and appear to enjoy the smell.)

Gandhi. Look Jawaharlal. This lake is so stinking. It is terrible. What types of these people are Hyderabadis? They are devoid of basis sense of sanitation. They are accepting all this filth in center of city, strange indeed.They appaer to be just nuts.

Patel. Bapu. When some thing is inevitable and can not be escaped better enjoy. There is another way of expressing it, but it is unparliamentarily and I should not speak such words.

Gandhi. Better do not say. I know what it is.It can not be printed...

Patel. Hee…hee. Hee. Bap.. You are smart too.?
( In the mean time some women approach them. They are Maya, Haseena, and Latha)

Latha ( looking at Patel) Sahib. How is every thing? Kya mia Chalega….?.

Patel. Where?

Latha.Do not act innocent. You know all. Hee. Hee. I am not very expensive. Just a couple of hundred.

Patel.. shh.. shut up....Behave yourself

Haseena (Looking at Bapu) Koyee baat nahin. Chalega. Hoi. Old man. Mood me hain kya?

Bapu. What is this Jawaharlal? What she wants?

Jawaharlal. She wants you.

Bapu. Chee…chee. I am above these things. Go away. What a place? Patel. Let us go from here. I am practicing celibacy since long. You know everything.

Patel. Bapu. Let us move fast. Some police constables are coming this side. They may doubt us.

( The trio quickly move out with long steps from that place. Gandhi gets tired)

Bapu. Ohfo. What a place? We were about to be fixed. Patel. Is this the regular affair here?

Patel. How do I know? Do you think I come here alone?

Bapu. No. No... I do not mean it . Generally I find you are well informed on all things.

Jawaharlal. Haa…haa…haa. That was good.

Patel. What is there to laugh Jawahar? These are very common things in world. It is the most ancient profession. We must feel pity. I hope local government is yet to legalize this type of soliciting. Very soon they would do. They have all good plans. They have many schemes named after Rajeev. They may find new schemes to rehabilitate such women and name the scheme after some favorite guy. They may even open a corporation to regulate this profession and put some senor political leaders as Chairman. Look Bapu. There are many old ministers who lost the recent elections. Many are after the CM Reddy to give them some ministry or chairmanship. I am sure there will be good competition for this position. Heeee…hee

Bapu.. Haa…Haa. Haa…Jawaharlal you were laughing loudly what is the matter?

Jawaharlal. Nothing. I felt like laughing. But the scheme will surely not be linked to us.

Gandhi. Enough of it you guys. In a distance, I find a big boat where people are boarding Let us go there. Let us have boat ride.

(The trio goes to the ticket counter and purchases three tickets for the boat ride and stand in queue)

Bapu. Hope the boat is safe and will not sink. I am bad at swimming

Patel Bapu. Do not be scared. There are some life boats. You shall not drown soon.

Jawaharlal. The water is so dirty that we might die by the stink.

( In the mean time a boy comes and gives every one a gadget that is required to be covering the noses. Every one ties it over the nose. The trio along with others boards the boat and it gives a big hoot and enters water. All guys shout loudly..Haa…Haa……ho…)

Bapu. What a sight! It is really thrilling.( Sings doing a jig)

This is a great thrill
Traveling on this boat
The water is dirty and stinking
And smells like milk of a goat

Look at the filth in waters
That is covering the entire lake
All are yet enjoying the cruise
Smile on their faces is just a fake.

Hyderabadi guys are lucky
That they have this cess pool
They enjoy the stench and filth here
Yet they are happy and highly cool

Even America has no such pool
And we are proud to have one
This pool must get the world record
When we can enjoy and have much fun

Patel. Nice poems Bapu. You are great indeed. You are as good as Keats..

Bapu. Thanks. Look Jawahar. You did not compliment me. Was the poem bad?

Jawaharlal. Bapu. No..no.. not like that. It was good. In fact I did not hear it.

( In the mean time the boat approaches the Buddha statue and all look at the statue.)

Bapu. Look. How big the statue is? But it is not the standard Buddha style usually found seated and in yoga pose with eyes closed and serene face.

Patel. This is Nagarjuna konda style. There is a big story about this Buddha.

Bapu. What was that?

Patel. The statue sunk in water when it was being transported in ferry some years ago and it was under water for many years. It was full of filth and slush.

Bapu. Then what happened?

Patel. Finally the engineers removed it and erected it with great difficulty.

Bapu. I see. So this can be called filth covered Buddha

Patel. Not exactly. But when we come here it stinks more. It is the stinking pride of twin cities.

( The boat slowly moves out and sways side ways while people shout loudly)

Gandhi. What is this happening? Will it sink?

Patel . Can’t say anything

( In the mean time the boat topples due to people shifting over to one side. All the guys fall in water. There are shouts, cries and great chaos. There is darkness and great commotion.. Gandhi , Patel and Nehru cling to each other holding to some plank. Most of the guys are holding on to some thing while many are afloat holding life boats. In the mean time another boat is seen approaching flashing lights)

Gandhi. Patel. Hope they see us and will save us

Patel. Hope so…Jawaharlal please hold hard.

Nehru. OK . I am fine.

( Suddenly they find that they are sunk in knee deep waters only. They all stand in waters and leave the plank. They laugh loudly and shout hurrah…hurrah)

(The boat approaches the place and rescues the guys afloat. Gandhi and Patel and Nehru refuse to climb)

Boat man. Hey guys. Please climb the boat. I shall take you ashore.

Patel. Not required. We are safe. We shall walk back

( the trio stats walking back and Gandhi is injured by a steel rod hidden in water)

Gandhi. Aaa… margaya. The rod has struck me…eeee….eee

Patel. Bapu. Be brave ( does jig in water and sings)

Bapu Hoi Bapu Hoi Bapu be brave
Do not cry like a boy and stop your weep
You withstood many police blows in past
Know the rod has not pierced you very deep

( They with difficulty carry Bapu ashore and he is laid on ground)

Bapu. How come there are iron rods under water in this lake?

Patel. Bapu. Every year people immerse Ganesh idols in this lake and these rods belong to such idols.

Bapu. Ohfo. What type of guys these are? Haa…haa.. Margaya ( cries in pain)

(Hearing the shouts, some people gather and among them there is a doctor too. The doctor brings a hammer and drives the rod out from the opposite end. In the end he keeps his leg on Gandhi and pulls out the rod.)

Gandhi. Ohh… Margaya…ee.eee… Bachao.. Are you a doctor or blacksmith?

Doctor. Look old man. I was really a black smith earlier. Recently I acquired an RMP certificate and practicing surgery. We are lucky in India. Any one can practice any thing. There is no check and all are doctors. This is my eleventh one. Look I have done so easily. If you were taken to some corporate Hospital just imagine what could have happened to you. They would have kept you waiting for hours. Then they will send you for all types of tests and keep you in observation. They have to collect blood samples and arrange blood. They may consult special surgeons. The operation would have taken some hours and they would have split open your leg all the time saying that the operation would cost so many lakhs of rupees. Instead of one leg they may operate two. Here I have done for no cost. Just humanity basis I have done. You do not need any post operative care. The lake water is so dirty that it has many antiseptic values. You will be instantly cured…heee…..heee.

Patel. You guy must get Bharat ratna really. Why not? When all types of nuts can get Bharat Ratna and Ashok Chakra in India why not you?

Nehru. Yeah. You must also get .

Bapu. True. Three cheers to RMP doctor. We shall demand Bharat Ratna for him.

(Gandhi gets up with lot of energy and does fast jig singing)

I am the Gandhi who led this nation
And just now injured by an iron rod
This doctor has treated me so well
Who has come and rescued me like a god

This guy surely needs a Bharat Ratna
That must be surely given to him for his act
All nuts around the nation gets this award now
His achievements are the greatest facts

( Many people gather there listening to doctors feat and praise him. The crowd swells slowly and reaches a magic figure of 3 lakhs. All the roads get jammed and all cars are caught in traffic jams and there is a great commotion every where.. The governors’ residence is very close to the area near Somajiguda. He listens to the chaos and the flashes on TVscrolls)

Governor ( Looking at the aide Capt Museebat singh) What is going on at Tank bund. Have you seen the scrolls?

Singh. Seen sir. What you have seen , I have also seen ( sings)

You have seen some thing
I have also seen same
Both are on the same scene
While some one is struggling for a name

Governor. I think the guy is demanding Bharat Ratna.

Singh. True sir. Unless we act the situation may change. There is a danger of law and order going out of control

Governor. True. Let me speak to the President.

( He picks up his hot line and speaks to President)

Governor. Hello Madam. This is governor here. There is urgency here. Please announce award Bharat Ratna immediately to RMP doctor Chau Chau Ram of Hyderabad who performed a magical operation at tank bund. I shall send details later.

President. ( Over hot line. )Ok Sanctioned. Please announce. Awards are there for giving. More the merrier. Do you also want one?)

Governor. Look Singh. Announce to TV flash news about Presidents decision that Bharat ratna has been awarded to Doctor Chau Chau Ram of Hyderabad for greatest surgery of this century)

Singh. Sure sir and goes out quickly

( In seconds flash news appear on TV and there is a great jubilation at Tank bund and all are trying to congratulate Chau Chau Ram.

Gandhi. Thank god. Congratulations Mr Ram. The nation is proud of you

( Nehru and Patel too congratulate Ram. After some time the crowd melts away and Ram and some of his friends are left)

( Bapu and his friends hold hands and walk off into distance singing Ramdhun)



Dr K Prabhakar Rao

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