Sunday, April 11, 2010



Dr k Prabhakar Rao

(Gandhi is lying in a sofa in the house of Bajpai while Nehru is seen sitting next to him. The atmosphere is serene. Gandhi once in a while opens his eyes and utters Ram. ram.. Uhh.uhhh. eee.. ee..aa.. ohfo.. Mera Bharat. Mera Bharat. Eeee..Eee. Nehru keeps comforting him.)

Gandhi. Jawaharlal.. Where are we now? How am I?

Nehru. Bapu. We came to Sri Bajpai’s house in Delhi. During discussions, you suddenly got excited. Probably, your BP rose. So they left and must be coming soon. They wanted you to take some rest.

Gandhi. I see.

Nehru ( within himself..) I do not se any thing here accept you

Gandhi. What did you say?

Nehru. Bapu. Nothing

( In the mean time Bajpai and Advani walk in.

Bajpai. Punditji. How is Bapu? Our Bapu. Great Bapu. Mahatma Bapu.

Nehru ( With in himself) I hope he is not sarcastic…( gets composed) Oh.. He is fine now.

( Suddenly Seshan the retired Chief Election commissioner walks in. He is a BJP candidate. He has his usual haughty and usual pose of a Toad. He greets Bapu and others.)

Seshan. What is the matter? All are here including the dead guys.

How come Bapu you are here?
I never saw you around for many years
The world has changed lot oh dear!
Know the elections in India have brought yellow fever

Bajpai. That is nicely said Seshan bhai. Keep it up.

Nehru. Hoi Seshan! I heard you lost Presidential elections miserably.

Seshan. What else will happen in India? The learned men of India want rubber stamps. They do not want strong men.

Nehru. Naryanan is not a rubber stamp. The way he handled crisis created by Kesari shows that he is strong.

Seshan. Sir. You may think so. Give me one chance. I shall straighten every thing and every one.

Gandhi. That is why you will not get chance. Let the things be like that only. If every thing is straight what will happen to our leaders, so called patriots who sacrificed every thing for the country. They have to be busy in political games and Tamasha.

Bajpai. Bapu. Well said.

Morals in Indian politics are down the drain
Where crossing the floors is the order of the day
Farmers in India are hungry without food grains
As criminals roast rooster everyday

Gandhi. Why criminals? Leaders too.

Bajpai. True criminals are synonymous to leaders and vice versa.

Gandhi. Haaa…haa..haa..hee..heee..hee

Bajpai. Some time back, the slogan by some nuts in India was Indira is India and India is Indira.

Advani. That was long time ago probably after India won 1971 war. At that time Bajpai sir called her Durga..heee..heee

( Bajpai gets a bit upset and it is noticed)

Gandhi. Some one said they will not give tickets to criminals

Seshan. Which tickets Cinema tickets?

Gandho.. No..No.. Come on Seshan. These are for elections.

Seshan ( Laughs loudly in typical Seshan style while his large ponch shakes violently) ha..haaa…haaaa..heee..heee..heee. Bapu. Where are you? Know it. In AP a criminal joined the ruling party. And the fellows organized a huge rally with more than thousand cars in spite of prohibitive orders. The biggest joke is that the home minister flagged off the rally. This is AP and Naidu style.

Bajpai. God save AP and the people of Andhra. Has the great leader Potti sriramulu gave life for this day?

Gandhi. What a sorry state in Andhra! It is den of Naxalites who run a parallel government there. There is no rule of law as it appears.
Police men can kill any one and show as encounter and get away.

Bajpai. All the CM shave failed to contain Naxals except Jalgam Venkat Rao .

Nehru. Any how, it is not our headache at present. I want to see how Sonia has started her campaign.

Bajpai. Sir. Better you go yourself. We have better things to do. How we are bothered how she is going about. .W we have our own plans.

Gandhi. OK Bhai Bajpai. Thanks for hospitality. We shall meet you again.

Nehru. Thanks Mr Advaniji and Bajpaiiji. Bye

( Gandhi and Nehru walk out of the house)

Gandhi. Jawaharlal. I shall come with you. After all I am a congress man. You are my man too. Let us go dear. ( Sings and does jig)

Look I am from congress
Although I do not wear proper dress
I gave India the freedom misused now
Even a cat in street knows why and how

Nehru. Thanks Bapu I am at your service.

Gandhi. haa …haa..haaa

( Gandhi and Nehru land up in Chennai. On the way, they see a convoy and armored car with rifle wielding police men in open jeeps.

Nehru. Bapu. See the motorcade. This belongs to her. See the protection. Even I was not given that much protection.

Gandhi. Are you feeling jealous about it?

Nehru, Why should I?

Gandhi. It is a tragedy in democracy. They want people votes .But can not face them. Everything is hypocrisy. What life they have? Shame on Indians.

Nehru. Bapu. Shall we call it hypocrisy? Any how, let us go to her. She would feel happy

(They try to go near the armored car when it slows down at a gathering. Suddenly hundreds of police men wilding weapons swoop on them)

Inspector. Hey. You Topiwalah. Cal hatt ( Move away ) Stay back. Don’t come near. Or else I shall put a bullet in your head.

Nehru. Come on Inspector. I am Pundit Jawaharlal Nehru the first PM of Inia and this man is Bapu, our Bapu, Mahatma Gandhi the father of nation.

Inspector. Laughs.. hee…heeee..hee…heee…You scoundrel of first order. Nehru died long ago. Whom you are fooling? Is this bald head skeleton Gandhi? Great characters indeed. Good way of begging.

Gandhi. How dare you are talking in this manner? That too to father of nation!. I shall show. How ungrateful you are? I gave you freedom from white skins. It s shame that congress could not produce a single leader who could lead this nation except Lal Bahadur.

Nehru. Don’t you think my daughter was worthy?

Gandhi. The present problems are her creation only. Created for remaining in power.

Nehru. How sad that you hold such views about her?

Gandhi. As your daughter I love her. But as PM I have my views.

Inspector. Enough of silly discussions. Now get lost from here.

( In the mean time Sonia sees Gandhi and Nehru and signals them to come close by and she tells inspector. They are taken to her)

Sonia. Hello guys. It is very nice to see you guys on this occasion in this dress. You have dressed exactly like them. Congratulations.

Gandhi. We are not dupes. We are real.

Sonia. Laughs hee..he.. What a joke! How it is possible for dead men to rise. It happened only with Christ. Any how you deserve some thing for this show.

(She hands over two Rupeess coin to them each and are promptly not accepted by them)
In the distance KL Saigal is heard singing

Toot gaye sab sapne mere
Ye do naina savan bhado
Barses saanjh
Toot gaye sab sapne mere (KL Saigal from Parwana his last film)

( All my dreams are shattered
From my two eyes
Flow tears evening to morning
All my dreams are shattered)

The pathetic song puts off Gandhi and he hysterically sobs and cries loudly. The Inspector slaps Gandhi and drags both of them away from Sonia throwing tons of abuses.
The convoy proceeds ahead while Gandhi and Nehru are thrown aside roadside. Gandhi is seen picking his spectacles and lathi and Nehru searches for the flower that fell off from his coat.

Gandhi. What type of guys are these? They do not have any consideration for our age atleast. Look the way the police men are behaving. Have I brought freedom to see this day? The British police was far better.

Nehru. Why talk all this Bapu now? Those days are over. We threw out the British. Even if we beg them now and fall at their feet they will not come back to rule us.

Gandhi. True. They are sensible guys. They left in time. They must be happy that they are out of a shit pot.

Nehru. You are absolutely true Bapu. India is a shit pot now. Very well said ( sings)

India now no doubt has self rule
Entire world feels we are fool
Our democracy has become a great joke
Having been achieved from the English blokes

Gandhi. True.

(He gets sentimental and cries loudly beating chest while Nehru consoles him)


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