Friday, April 10, 2009




Prof Dr Colonel K Prabhakar Rao ( retired)

(Gandhi, Nehru and Patel are seen watching an election meeting at Hyderabad outskirts, The meeting is being addressed by the ruling party leader. The leaders is found standing on a vehicle well decorated and he ties a towel around his head as if he is a farmer)

Leader.. Listen..Listen.. You guys. This is your leader speaking. Why do not you listen? Why are you trying to go away? I have ruled the state for the last five years. I gave you rains. I gave you crops. I started so many welfare schemes. Every scheme has been named after only one family who are our destiny makers. You must vote for us. If you vote for us, I assure you there will not be dearth of notes for you for the next five years.

Listener. Heee…heee. Hoo…hooo..heee…heee… Last time also you said same. Atleast at that time we had some land. Now you have grabbed it for ring road. You are still grabbing lands for giving to corporates. We did not get any money for it. If got it is pittance. Where shall we go now? Why should we vote for you? May god cause your defeat and down fall.

Leader,. There must be some problem. I shall give back every thing. If I come to power again I shall dig away the ring roads. I shall again construct slums for you that can be filthiest in the world where you can be most comfortable. Wherever houses were built I shall get them broken.

( The crowd shouts ..ho…ho..ho)

Gandhi. What are you talking sir? How can you construct slums again? Will you take them away to BC.Will you break houses.

Leader. Satisfying people is our motto. If we have erred we have to correct ourselves. By constructing international airport we caused great loss to people as we acquired lands. Any how soft ware boom has gone. After Ramlingaraju’s episode no one would believe us. West is running away at the name of Andhra Prdesh. They think every one is a scamster here. We shall not get Projects and there will not be outsourcing by USA. Then who will come to India through the international airport? Only pilots will come along with stewards and other crew. I shall shift back everything to Begum pet. The present international airport would become like Ankor Vat in Indonesian peninsula. I may allow all villagers to take whatever they want from there. After some time a forest would grow there. I shall plant special quick growing trees. I also would make roads dug. No car can go there. All Taxi cars would become useless. Owners have to sell them away. Scrap dealers would become busy. There will not be work for drivers and cleaners and travel agencies. They get frustrated and want to drink most of the times. I shall open more liquor shops. Revenue would go up. Their health also gets spoiled. There will be higher demand for medicines and hospitals. Doctors would flourish. To meet demand, I shall open more medical colleges. No facilities would be there at these colleges. Compounder would teach. More doctors would come out without any skills. They can not even administer intravenous injections. They will be more suitable as veterinary doctors. But after all they are called doctors. They can write Dr in front of the names. They will feel satisfied. In marriage market they have higher demand. They can get more dowries. Crimes will go up. So police recruitments have to go up. Many police men shall have no weapons. They will be given steel rods. That will be more effective. Hope You are happy with my plans. Vote for me. Please Bhai Vote for me. I am assuring you with my hand. Look at this how wide it is.

Gandhi. Come on You guy. Come down at once. Why are you fooling around people? You have no doubt have very wise ideas indeed (Sarcastically).

Leader. Hey. Who are you? Are you from opposition party?

Gandhi. You come down fast ( Waves his hand)

( Another elder leader next to the speaker grabs the mike and shouts… He is Bhoomiah

Bhoomiah.. Hey. What are you talking? Why are you waving hand? I shall take off your hand.. you…grr..grrr….)

Gandhi. What? Will you tear off my hand? Are you so great? Keep watching. Come! Take off my hand. I shall show you.

Leader. Bhoomiah. Please do not bother for him. He appears to be out of tune.

Gandhi. Me or it is you? First you are making all meaningless promises. Do not fool around.

( In the mean time, some police men and few inspectors gather around Gandhi and his friends. They are trying to pacify him)

Inspector Yadgiri. Look old man, Why are you causing trouble? Why do you buy problems to yourself. Look ! We are ruthless police men. Go away from here and let the leader speak.

Gandhi. Look Inspector! What is wrong in asking? This is an election meeting. Did you listen to him? Are you convinced?

Inspector Yadgiri. Look sir. We are Govt servants. What we can say? We have to watch and act. You know. The previous DGP was sent home because he was praising the leader.

Patel. Yes. I read in news papers. That was good

Nehru. Are you scared Inspector?

Inspector Yadgiri. We have to be impartial and do our duty. At present we see that you are causing disturbance at the meeting

Gandhi. Is it disturbance? Did I throw any stone or abused him? I am only contradicting him.

Inspector Yadgiri. After all he is still the boss. So we have to listen to him. You guys better go away from here peacefully or we have to act.

Patel. What will you do?

Inspector Yadgiri. We have to arrest you. We may leave you later on after few hours.

Patel. That you can not do.

Inspector Yadgiri. Why? You are only three. We are fifteen with arms too.

Nehru. Even then you can not do any thing. Your arms are of no use against us

Inspector Yadgiri. ( Looking exhausted) Come on guys. Behave. Please do not force us.

( The conversation between Gandhi and his friends and police men grow noisy and people gather around them. No one is listening to the leader)

Leader. Listen Oh guys.. Listen… Why are you going to that old man dressed up as Gandhi and others as Nehru and Patel? I am saying stay and listen. Look. The other party says they will do money transfer to poor. From where they will do. Where is the money? Everything is over. Please do not believe them. They will bring disaster to you

Nehru.. ( Shouts) Will it be more than what happened during the last five years

Patel. Hoo..hooo.. haa..haa

Gandhi. ( Shouts) Bharat Mataa ki Jai… Our kisika jai nahi…eeee…eee

( Inspector Yadgiri pounces on Gandhi and tries to close his mouth. But he can not feel Gandhi. His hand falls on the mouth of another Inspector Narsimha. He reacts angrily.)

Inspector Narsimha. Come on behave Yadgiri. Is this way you behave? I shall show you.

Inspector Yadgiri. What will you show?

Inspector Narsimha. Behave Yadgiri. We are in uniform . Remember this.

Inspector Yadgiri. So what (He draws revolver from holster and aims at Narsimha)

(Patel in the mean time covers up Inspector Narsimha by standing infront of him and Yadgiri fires a burst. The bullets strike Patel and he being iron man of India the bullets get crushed and nothing happens to Narsimha)

Patel. Haa…haa.. You Joker! I told you your weapons have no meaning to us.

(Hearing firing the crowd starts running away from the scene. The leader speaking at the mike throws the mike and runs to cover along with DGP)

Leader. What is this non sense going on? Why firing here? My election meeting has been ruined. To morrow there will be headlines in the news papers. ( Looks at DGP who is also hiding with him) Suspend the crank immediately.

DGP. ( looking at the SP standing close) Suspend that crank immediately. Conduct enquiry after that. I required transfer the guy to Sri Kakulam.
SP. Yes sir… Yes sir. Three bags full.

( In the mean time some police men pounce on Yadgiri and catch him and is taken away from there. His Pistol in confiscated. Other police men and Inspectors now confront Gandhi and his friends. They rush at Gandhi with vigor shouting and screaming and Gandhi looks at them angrily)

Gandhi. Stop ! You guys stop. You do not know us. Are you police or tormentors?

Nehru. Second one is right. You guys can not do any thing to us. You can not even touch us leave arresting

Inspector. That you will see. You think you are too smart.

Gandhi. In that case look. This is my hand. Now catch it and arrest me

( Inspector pounces on Gandhi and tries to hold his hand and he catches only air even after many attempts. Gandhi now stands in front of a big dust bin and the Inspector rushes at him head long and falls in the filthy dust bin full of all shit and night soil. Gandhi now stands in the middle of police men and all of them rush at him and fall on each other and fall in heap. Gandhi sneers at them and gestures like Mandrake the magician and twists his hand. All the police men fly and fall in a heap at a distance of twenty yards and many moan with fractured limbs. They shout.. yaa…..allah…mar gaya,..bacho..eee…amma…Ramaa….ayyaa…nayanaa…wammo..wayyo….akka….attta…)

Gandhi. Look at these guys. These gays are there to take care of the leader and not the public. See.. How they are crying… haa..haaa

Patel.. Heee..heee

( Gandhi, Nehru and Patel hold hands and do jig laughing and many people join them..Slowly the trio vanish)


Dr K Prabhakar Rao

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