INTO THE PAST WITH PAIN…310
Dr K Prabhakar Rao
(Gandhi, Patel and Nehru are the members of an interview board at Institution of scams and mismanagement at Delhi. They are in lobby seated in comfortable sofas.)
Gandhi. These chairs are very cozy and comfortable.
Patel. Bapu they are sofas and not chairs.
Gandhi, How it differs?
( After some time a person comes near them. He is Chalu singh)
Chalu singh. Dear gentlemen, the interviews are likely to commence. The chairman has invited you into board room where the interviews will be held.
Gandhi. Sure , sure. We are itching
Chalu ram. Sir do you want some medicine for the problem. I shall call our medical man,
Patel. No. No . you misunderstood
( The trio enters the board room and are seated in chairs. After few minutes the chairman of the committee arrives. All stand up and greet him .)
Chairman. Good morning everybody. This is Herapheri Chamanlal. I am the director of this Institute.
All. Good morning sir
Chaman laal. Please be seated. Before we get onto our business I want to say few words. This Institution was established last year after many scams were unearthed during UPA govt tenure. The number of scams and their intensity was so much that all were worried. Therefore they established this Institute. Unless we know thoroughly about committing scams we can not develop preventive systems. Same is the case with management.
All. You are correct sir( They clap)
Chamanlal. We have to interview and select some candidates for the posts for teaching certain management subjects, operation research, risk analysis, decision making, financial accounting, audit etc. Now shall we start our job?
All. Fine sir.
( Chairman presses a buzzer and his secretary turns in. He asks her to send candidate one by one as per list. He gives each member a list of candidates. After some time a candidate walks in)
Candidate. Good morning sir. I am Lalu ram.
Chairman. Please be comfortable and be seated( He shows the chair )
(Candidate sits in the chair and leans very comfortably shaking his legs)
Chairman. Kindly tell about yourself.
Lalu ram. I am lalu ram. I stay at Banjara hills, Rd no 3, I am born on 25 Oct 1793.
Patel. Ohfo no! Are you more than two hundred years old?
Lauram. Am I looking like that ?
Patel. You only said you were born in 1793
Laluram. By mistake I might have told.
Gandhi. What are your qualifications.?
Lalu ram. I have done MBA from GL and LL Institute of Management studies
Chairman. What is the full form of the college
Lalu ram. Sir. It is called Go less and learn less Institute of management studies.
Patel. Haa..haa… very good
Chairaman. OK. we shall let you know. Thanks for coming… Next
( Laluram goesaway)_( Another candidate walks in and sits in the chair earmarked)
Candidate. Good morning everybody.
Chairman. Good morning. Please tell about yourself.
Candidate. I am Sateesh. I have done B Tech from Jeevanlal Technical University ( Real name is hidden ) in 2013 in Electrical Engineering and I obtained I class.
Patel. That is good. Can I see your memos
Sateesh. Sure sir. ( Hands over memos)
Patel. Look Mr Sateesh. You passed B Tech with I class. But you have been awarded the degree although you could not clear two subjects. You gave me nearly 30 memos
Sateesh. There is a rule in the university that a student could be awarded degree even if he failed to clear two subjects in the total subjects.
Patel. But you failed to clear Electromanetic theory and instrumentation. These are the two core subjects in your field.
Satesh. True sir.
Gandhi. Then how you can be a good Electrical engineer? How bad it is?
Chairman. What use is of this degree? I am sorry.I can not accept ypu as electrical engineer.
Sateesh. That is the university rule.It is upto you.
Chairman, But university did not force you to drop these subjects. This is an option for some nuts , clowns and useless guys who otherwise would never pass engg in eight years.
Gandhi. I do not know why such rule should be introduced. Most probably some VIPs son or daughter must have got stuck in course some time ago. May be some Vice chancellors kid too.To help her or him they must have introduced this. Any how it is very bad.
Chairman. I agree with you sir. Mr sateesh, I am sorry we can not take you.
Sateesh. It is OK sir. World is very big. My destiny does not end here. Thank you sir for calling.
( Sateesh goes away. Chairman and others look at each other in confused state aghast at his departing remarks.)
Chairman. Next. Please send Abdul rehman
( Abdul Rehman walks in and sits in the chair)
Rehman. Salam walekum. Salam walekum ( salutations. Salutations)
Anta bagunnara.. Meeranta bagunnara ( Hope all of you are fine)
Kallapaginchi choostarem ( Why look at me with wide open eyes?)
Ne NeNeNe Bhai saab. ( It is me brothers) ( Laila majnu 1948 by Siva Rao)
Gandhi. Walekussalam. Well sung. You appear to be jovial. I like it.
Rehaman. Thanks, you did not call me a joker. Sir One has to be happy and jovial. This world is an illusion. All of us are mere travelers and guests for few days.
Zameen chal rahee aasman chalraha hai..
Zameen chal rahee aasman chalraha hai..
Ye kiskeishare jahan chal raha hai
Zamee chal rahee aasman chalraha hai.. ( Hemant Kumar in Pehli Jhalak..1953 )
Chairman. Fine dear. You have come for an interview.
Gandhi.Look Mr Rehaman, You are graduate in Management. From where you have done your MBA.
Rehman. From Hyderabad itself.
Chairman.Yes I know. Is it distance mode or regular.
Rehman. Althoug it is reguar it is as good as distance mode. It is regularly distant
Chairman. I can understand. Can you define what is management?
Rehaman. Management means managing guys and getting work done from mothers.
Nehru. Come on. Say others and not mothers
Rehaman. Sorry sir.
Patel. You are some how nearly true. Give a proper definition.
Nehru. Please define what is WWW
Rehman. Wealth, Woman and Wine
Chairman. How these are relevant in management?.
Rehman. Sir. These are highly relevant in every day life. What for we all are working?.Whenever some foreign contract is to be finalized for a big sum, all these factors are used effectively. Many fall for these. All go together,Managers must be effective in exploiting these resources particularly in publicity, marketing fields.
Gandhi. I am free from these.
Patel. Our days are over Bapu.
Chairman. Very good. You are selected as Asst Manager with a salary of Rs15000/ pm along with perks.
Rehman. Thank you sir. May god bless you. Khuda hafeez.