Wednesday, September 16, 2009




Dr K Prabhakar Rao

( Gandhi, Nehru and Patel are seen in Tirumala temple town and are found loitering in front of temple yard. Some police men confront them)

Police man. Hello, Bahia who are you? Why are loafing around? You can not beg here.

Patel. We are not beggars. Can’t you see we are gentle men?

Police man. Hee..hee. You don’t look so. See your dress for your self. Can you be called Gentlemen? See this old man. He does not have even sufficient clothes to cover his body.

Patel. He is called half naked Fakir. He is MK Gandhi. I am Patel and the other one is Jawaharlal Nehru.

Police man. I heard your names. On republic day and Independence Day we shout their names and slogans. Why are you now in this pathetic state? If you are really those men why no VIP from Tirumala is escorting here? Why no one is doing boot licking to you?

Gandhi. What is this escort and boot licking?

Police man. Whenever some state minister, MP and central minister or even second grade leaders from state come here to see Lord, some senior officer from TTD board accompanies him so that he is given immediate audience of Lord. They do lot of bootlicking.

Gandhi. But that is unfair. All are equal in front of God. Why special treatment to some?

Police man. Hee..hee.. hoo..hooo. Which world you are in friend? You are in India. A place of all murky games and corruption that goes on in the name of protocol and democracy. When a lady minister arrives, she is always presented very costly sari and some make it regular and by the time they complete the term they have dozens expensive saris in their ward robe. There is no guarantee they would again minister in their life time.So collection goes on.

Patel. Haa…Haa

Nehru. Ou..ou..ou.. How funny it is?

Gandhi. (Picks up a stone and hammers his own head and cries) eee..eee… Have I brought freedom to see this day.. aaa… eee…eeee…ooh.. Mera Bharat…Mera Bharat… aa… eee..eee

Patel. Kindly hammer our heads too. I have some head ache.

Nehru. Not mine.

Police man. Stop old man. I can arrest you on the charge of committing suicide.

Nehru. Look Constable. He can not die because he is already dead.

Police man. What you are talking? Is he dead already? Then how is talking?

Patel. That is beyond your comprehension. Your wisdom can not realize it. More so because you are putting on uniform. The drill, parade and stamping boots shall make your head dull and dumb. You are turned into a Robot that would blindly obey orders and react to commands saavdhan and vishram, aghe badh, Piche Mudh, Baye mudh, Khuli line chal, Nikat line Chal, Tham, Left.. right… dahine, Bahe, Salami shastr, Bajoo shastr, Bagal shastr, Dahine sajj, so on so forth…

Gandhi. Hee..hee . Patel you are too good in these commands. When did you learn?

Bapu I was the deputy PM of India and first Home minister too.

Police man. I think enough we had. You guys better go away on your business. Go and see Balaji. Our hands are itching over triggers. For many days we did not open fire with our AK 47 guns. Feel like screwing guys.

Gandhi. Thanks for leaving us. Even if you fire on us nothing will happen to us.

Commando. What?,,,

( They go to the general queue and stand in the line and slowly the line moves)

Gandhi. This line appears eternal. How long this will take?

Nehru. I was told at least 20 hours

Gandhi. so long? I shall die here.

Patel. Bapu. How can you die? You know that you are already dead.

Gandhi. Sorry, I forgot.

Patel. Relax Bapu. Why tell sorry to me?

( Slowly the line moves and some times they sit on the benches provided at some enclosures. They sit on benches at one point. They find some guys who were behind them going to the front. Gandhi gets up set)

Gandhi, Hoi. Can’t you wait like me? Why are you rushing? The gate any how is closed. Where you will go?

Laxman. My name is Laxman and not Hoi. You are sitting. So I went ahead. Why are you bothered for that? If you want get up and proceed.

Gandhi. I have some discipline. I can not behave like you.

Laxman. Come on old man. Behave well. Have I done any crime by going ahead?

Patel. Mr Laxman. Relax. Why you want to pick up fight with us.

Laxman. Oh So you are his friend. I shall see what you can do to me.

( Laxman gives a punch to Gandhi and Gandhi holds his hand and twists. Laxman shrieks loudly)

Patel Bapu. Well done. This swine needs such treatment

Laxman. You called me a swine. I shall see you too. You are a pig and buffalo

Patel. All returned to you.

( Laxman gets up and starts a fist fight with Patel. Patel gives a strong punch to Laxman and he looses some teeth)

Laxman. Ah..ahh.. Margaya.. Bacho

( In the mean time the crowd collects and there is a jam in the queue. There is a chaos. Security men suddenly appear opening a side door and separate Patel and Laxman. They admonish Laxman and cool Patel. In the mean time the crowd reaches the main entrance door of Balaji where men are released. All rush madly at once. Even educated men , probably many doctors and engineers are also in the crowd. All rush madly towards the main door of Balaji temple. Patel and Gandhi and Nehru are thrown off the balance and fall down. The people run over their bodies least bothered about the fallen guys)

Gandhi. Haye.. Margaya Amma, Bachao… bacho..

Patel. You jokers, Can’t you have some sense? Bunch of fools.. fools and fools.

Nehru. Bapu.. Mera Kamar too gaya… My margaya. Mera coat has become dirty. My knee is badly bruised. Haye…haye… Bapu.. Margaya..eee…eeee

Gandhi.. eee…eee..eee.. aa..aa…aaa

(Finally they get up and go towards the main gate and slowly get in and some people help them. They follow the line and every one is pushing them from behind and they are unable to breath. At last they see Balaji from a Distance from the line. They raise hands and shout.. )

Gandhi. Govinda…Govinda

Nehru. Govinda… Govinda


(They slowly reach closer and still are shouting. Suddenly a woman volunteer named Laxmibai from security pull Gandhi away towards exit)

Laxmibai. Aai. Buddhe.. Hatt.. Nikal.. Buddhe.. Hatt. Bahut ho gaya.. Nikal.. Chal. Teri…

Patel. Oh Amma. Please look at him. See. How old he is? Is this way you treat elders?

Laxmibai. I am Laxmi Bai.. Jhansi ki Rani. I am a terror here.

Patel. Disgrace indeed. Poor Ranis name is being sullied. What was Rani? What are you? You d don’t have even common sense to treat old people properly.

Laxmi bai. Bahut ho gaya. You Buddhe. Bataata hun Tujh ko. Ek doonga is Lathi se.. Dikh Jayega Jahannum.. Mera nam Laxmi Bai…Khhon peejawunga.. Teri…ki.. Lelun…

Patel. Enough of it.

(Patel pulls her lathi off and throws it out and few security men pounce on Patel. There is a commotion in the temple in front of Balaji. Priests are running around. Some one is trying to close the temple door and cover Balaji with screen. Suddenly the new commando team from AP Police walk in wielding AK 47 and by this time Gandhi, Patel and Nehru are pushed out of temple by security guys)

Inspector. Hey. What is the problem? Why you are creating scene? Why did you misbehave with the woman security person?

Pate. Not we. She misbehaved. Look at us. We are so old. She does not bother for age

Inspector. There is no consideration for age. We treat all equally. In front of God all are equal.

Patel. I agree. But that equality is different. This is different. You guys basically lack discipline. You have become power hungry and power has gone to your head.

Inspector. Come on shut up. I shall chew your.. ba…

Patel Welcome. Before that see what I can do.

Inspector. What you can do? (Looks at the commando team) Take positions and aim
(The commando team aims weapons at the trio and cock weapons)

Gandhi.. Hee..hee ( Does jig singing)

You are a bunch of jokers in these towns
All say that you are some sort of clowns
You can kill your own people with this gun
While the terrorists play and make with you big fun

Patel. ( Does break dance singing)

Your guns can not harm us
You will be put to great shame
We shall laugh at your sorry state
And you shall meet your sorry fate

( Inspector gets worked up and orders firing by the commandoes. They fire volley of shots and bullets strike the trio. There is a great commotion in the temple and all are running here and there. Nothing happens to the trio)

Inspector. Come on fire whole magazines into them.

(The Commandoes empty all the magazines on Gandhi, Nehru and Patel. They spread their hands and laugh off)

Gandhi. Haa…haa.. Heee..hee ( dies jig)

Nehru. ( does fox trot ad laughs hoo..hooo.hooo)

Patel. ( Does break dance and laughs).Heee……auu.You bunch of jokers. Sons of Satan. Are the guns given to you to kill our own citizens? You guys deserve no sympathy.. He stares at the Inspector and commandoes)

Inspector ( appears dazed). How you guys escaped. You must be terrorists in disguise. You must have put on bullet proof jackets. Come on guys lathi charge them.. Go..

(Patel stares violently at them and twists his hand violently like Mandrake the magician and all the commandoes and the Inspector including Laxmibai are thrown off into air and are dumped into Swami Pushakarani far away from Temple complex. They shriek and shout. Many are sunk with broken limbs and heads)

Gandhi. The guys deserved the treatment. No mercy to them

(Suddenly an old man is seen walking towards them)

Old man. Well done boys. You have done correct thing and they deserved.

Gandhi. Hello. Thanks. Who are you sir? You have great glow on your face.

Old man. People call me Balaji baba. I stay here only. Thanks for all that you have done. I wanted to do same. Thanks again.( He walks off and suddenly vanishes in front of Gandhi’s eyes)

Gandhi Hey. See this trick. The old man has vanished

Patel. Bapu. He is no other one than God Balaji

Nehru. Ohfo.

Gandhi. We are blessed really. Balaji has given us Darsghan . Balaji…Balajii..

(Sings ramdhun and the Nehru and Patel join Gandhi. They slowly walk off)


Dr K Prabhakar Rao

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