Friday, September 25, 2009



Dr K Prabhakar Rao

( Gandhi, Nehru and Patel are seen walking on Sydney street in Australia. They are suddenly at face to face with well built white youth)

Gandhi. Hello. Friend. Kindly give me way.

Stranger. My name is Edmund Harry. Who are you? Why are you here?. What work you have in this country. Are you working some where in this town?

Patel. Are the questions over or anything more? He is MK Gandhi. Father of nation. i.e. India.

We are the Indians and great guys
And we shall never tell any lies
For sight seeing we are here now
But we have lost the way some how

Gandhi. Well sung Patel.

Edmund. I see. So you are a bloody Indian as I expected. You are also reciting some English poetry. Where did you learn good English?

Patel. Mr Edmund. You have used un parliamentary word Bloody now.What is so bloody about him? ( Sings)

Edmund. Who are you? You are quiet vocal.

Know I am the Indian steel man
I am very strong and tougher than a Cherokee van
You guys probably do not know me
Better you guys behave and stay there whatever be

Gandhi. Hear…hear..

Patel. I am the iron man of India. I am known as Sardar Vallabhai Patel. I was the first Deputy PM of India. I have screwed all the princely states in 1948.

Edmund. Hee…hee. But better pack up from here.

Nehru. Why should we go? We have valid VISA documents.

Edmund. Hell to them. You guys do not know me. I am the leader of white gang here. I have made life hell for Indian students in Sydney.

Patel. Why should you do such things? They are here to study.

Robinson. Look Mr. Patel. I am friend of Edmund. You guys are new to this place. We guys have some traditions and customs in this country. Indian students are spoiling the atmosphere.

Gandhi. I knew that some Australians are attacking Indian students regularly.

Edmund. We only attacked. We have not killed them. It may happen soon if things do not change.

Patel What?

Robinson. These Indian students are arriving in such large numbers and have destroyed our culture here.

Patel. How?

Edmund. I think I shall tell you. These jokers who come to study here are denying the locals the opportunities. Probably they are good at studies. They are not good at other things. Another aspect is that they dirty the locality wherever they stay. They throw all litter around. Spit on the roads. They talk very loudly in their native language. Probably they also abuse us in their Lingo. They piss on the road side too. I saw some guys doing that. They carry radio transistors and keep playing all the time disturbing others. They keep talking over cell phones loudly all the time. These are some cranks and shit people. They behave cheap.

Gandhi. I think you are exaggerating.

Robinson. We are telling truths. You guys appear to be sane persons and are not arrogant. These bloody Indian students are arrogant too.

Nehru. If you are telling truths we have to accept.

Patel. Indians do all the things surely in India what this guy has told.

Nehru. That is the habit and it is also a birth right.

Patel. Indiscipline is Indian’s birth right.

Gandhi. Indians spit on the streets and even on main roads after eating pan.

( In the mean time, a car passes them at high speed and through window a guy spits on the road. He is an Indian student. The dirty liquid falls on feet of Gandhi)

Gandhii.. eee… ee.. chee..cheee. quack…quack.. What a guy?

Patel. Why bother Bapu? You have been cleaning public toilets in India before partition.

Gandhi. Patel. Are you sarcastic? Why tell all those things now.

Robinson. What? Did this guy cleaned public toilets in India?

Patel. You do not know the back ground of such programme.
Robinson. Any how I can not imagine such acts. It is no wonder Indians are so dirty.

(They then see an Indian student coming out of a flat and he is seen carrying plenty of litter and dirty refuse in a bucket and he throws the contents near a Public dust bin, but not in the dust bin. The contents are not packed in a plastic container. The litter flies out here and there.)

Edmund. Look guys. See How they live and see what that guy has done?

Gandhi. I am sorry.

Edmund. Why should you feel sorry for that guy. He needs to be hammered hard.

Patel You must do that. Let us go to him.

( All of them go to the dust bin where the youth was standing)

Gandhi. Look boy. Is this the way you throw the litter?

Ashok. I am Ashok. Not a boy. I am twenty five years old. What is wrong in this ?

Patel Look. You are living in a foreign country. You are bringing bad name to India and Indians. Why you have thrown litter like that?

Ashok. Who are you Buddhe ( old man) to ask me?

Patel. He is father of India.

Ashok. We are now in Australia. Better know that . If you say another word I shall chew your ba….. Pack off from here.

Robinson. Look. You are living in our country and not in India. Better learn manners and live in a dignified manner. Do not be arrogant. I shall hammer -out air out of you.

(Ashok takes out a cigarette and lights it up. Puffs of smoke he blows out right into the face of Edmund)

Edmund. You guys. You shall not listen in normal manner. ( He holds Ashok by collar and slaps him hard. Robinson also arrives and gives some hard punches to Ashok)

Ashok. Hey…Heyy…Police.. save me.. save me… I shall go human rights group.

Edmund. What police will do? You need to be taught a lesson. Take this you bloody swine.. You bloody .. man. Why you have come to Austarlia?Is it to spoil our land? Make it dirty , filthy. Go back to India and do all these shitty things there and be happy. Get out bloody.. Bast…

Robinson. Yeah.. You swine.. Pig…Arrogant shit pot…Get lost

Ashok. Runs away shouting abuses in Hindi.. Teri….

Gandhi. Look Mr Robinson and Edmund. We are sorry at Ashoks conduct. We apologize for his conduct.

Edmund. That is fine. Thanks for understanding our sentiments. OK Better take care of yourselves. There may be some locals around and they may attack you being Indians.

Patel. Please do not worry. We are dead men. No one can do any thing to us.

Edmund. What dead men? How?

Gandhi. You shall not understand that. Thanks Patel and Jawaharlal . Let us go. We shall come again. ( sings and does jig)

Indians are the dirtiest lot wherever they are
They dirty the area wherever they go
They need to be really hammered hard
With a hammer carrying the Australian Logo

(Edmund and Robinson hurriedly go away from there getting worried assuming the trio to be Ghosts. Gandhi, Nehru and Patel sing Ramdhun and walk off into distance haze)


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